As a bisexual woman, I have had a bit of a different experience when it comes to relationships, my interactions with community, and general perspectives of myself. Many bisexual people can probably relate to the over-sexualisation of bisexuality, as well as the misconceptions around bisexual people being ‘more likely to cheat’ or being ‘selfish’. Bisexual people can also be cut off from the queer community itself, due to some misconceptions around sexuality as a whole. A lot of these issues seem to be getting better as the community and the world learn about sexuality and acceptance, but it is a hard world to live in when you don’t fit into the ‘right box’ one hundred percent.
I have been lucky enough to fall in love. I just so happened to fall in love with a straight, cis man. Sometimes it can be difficult being with someone who does not always get you, but I am happy to report I am with one who tries.
When I sat down with my partner to ask a few questions around having a bisexual partner, his answers almost all revolved around communication and learning. I asked him what it was like having a partner who is bisexual… apparently having a partner who will have crushes on the same celebrities as you is pretty dope.
We had an open communication about my bisexuality, and bisexuality in general; about what he does to help me and what I do to help him. The best thing about this, and both our answers, was the emphasis on communication, support, and education. As a couple, we are constantly talking to each other about growth, even if not on purpose. Sometimes, it can be so hard to feel heard about a sexuality that is not present right in people’s faces when you are in a heteronormative relationship. My partner luckily has grown to understand this and learnt to be open about what he can do to make an accepting environment.
Hearing from your partner, “I want to learn from you, and research, and know what I can do to make you feel comfortable – especially when some of our family may not be supportive” is an emotional thing to hear, but the support rooted in this is some sweet bi *wife* energy. Having a dialogue around what might be an uncomfortable thing – the potential of being outed to family members – opened our relationship up to further connection and communication around what we can each do to support each other.
Bi *wife* energy to us, and our relationship, is the education and learning that comes with having a non-straight partner, and being able to expand one’s education and mind to help love and support said partner. The trend online of many men coming out during pride month with their bisexual wives, celebrating their sexuality, and not feeling threatened by their powerful partners, is an amazing movement that also allows us, in our partnership, to be able to thrive and continue our communication. The key to all relationships is communication and, when it is an area that has a habit of being misunderstood, being able to learn and support your partner is the key to success and tapping into that bi *wife* energy.