Lounge rooms across Australia have erupted into division

regarding the value of all this reality television.

But it’s a one sided debate that’s focused on all of the flaws

so I thought it was time for me to stand up and push the genre’s cause.

You see reality television is a tool to inspire

if you're bald, fat and gay like Richard Hatch you can still win Survivor;

Jessica Simpson became a global star with a head full of air;

and Donald Trump can make billions despite really bad hair.

What an educational vehicle is Big Brother Uncut

providing teenagers with peepshow tutorials in twenty something smut.

Who needs sex education at school when you have Hotdogs and Vez

providing an in-depth analysis of a Dirty Sanchez.

Why it’s exposed us to that lovely girl Paris and her home video porn;

and granted retribution on the dance floor for poor Simone Warne.

We now know that men should wear bras when they're morbidly obese;

and Highway Route Six has a humorous connotation when spoken by New Zealand Traffic Police.

So if after reading this poem you remain unconverted

and believe that it’s author may seem rather perverted;

Just turn on the nightly news and you will soon see;

at the moment it sure beats ‘true’ reality.

Cecil

(Guy Watts)